another day... another thought

ok so its been a while...

in the last week, i have been inspired by song. i told you about writing an article based on luther's dance with my father again... i did. i shall share with you soonish. i am still a bit shy about it. (yeah right!)

today, it seems i am getting even cheesier by the minute. i was trying to think who was the most important person in my life and surprise surprise another tear jerker sprung to mind. i thought about the song 'wind beneath my wings'. there have been so many variations of this song and i think i have lost track of the original but it really got me thinking about a lot of things. i will share within the week, i promise.

but for this very moment what am i thinking about? i am thinking about the fact that people underestimate love and its meaning. i just wrote something about that (again i will share soonish) and i admit that i sound like such a cynic in that note (it wasnt intentional). i just believe that a lot of people claim to love or be in love without actually understanding the responsibility attached to practising that emotion with its truest intentions. what is this insomniac rambling on about? .... all in due course but in the mean time, tell me this, do you really really really love someone? yes? how do you know?

heartprints

Heartprints

its my life, casual or not as usual
but I take you with me
could be dust and rain
or gold and gain
and moments engulfed by these
the fees I paid for
choices I rejoice in
or when human foresight has paid me not great

yet it never stops
I move on as life pauses not
new creations, new inventions,
new souls, new moments, new dreams
it seems…

but for you in my inner circle
who but cycled life with me
for thus you grew the way you knew
yet traversed still with me

should we be dissimilar or not
or have familiar ways or not
you reside with me always
for your eyes and your smile
for eternal miles
your words and your soul and your whole
are imprinted in my subconscious

for so life dictates,
wipe as you wish
still heartprints are permanent

eternally therefore, I take you with me!

growing up

hhhmmmmm... random thoughts...
i wonder how our upbringing affects our relationships in life generally?
what do you think guys?

and ' breathless' is out of my head now. i have two songs stuck in my head today. mariah carey's melt away (dont ask.. totally random, right?) and jennifer hudsons (did i spell her name right?) spotlight.

so you want to read something totally soppy? see my next post.

Life's fabric

in my phantasm tonight
behold before me
i connect...
the changing faces of my life's many phases
and
the hearts i met and let in
whilst i traversed those dreary or hardly dreary
places
i recollect...
you from the past
you who did or didn't last
you who journeys on with or without me fast
.... and you!
life is a partially sewn fabric
you added a stitch
if you hurt me
its alright, i forgive you
for in hindsight
though life was longer, i got stronger
what can i say? i awoke to yet another day
another switch, another stitch
and if i hurt you
hate me not
perhaps in the contentment i sought
i spared you not a befitting thought
but
i gave you one more stitch
so if we spoke or we laughed
or we joked or we danced
or even if i sighed many or cried
a small part of a lost past
or lead role in my life's scroll
or indeed i in yours
whilst some stitches get broke
if a tear drop
or a memory
or both tonight i provoke
be thankful
as i thank you
thank you
for a beautiful beautiful strong stitch!

and...

I am still going on about that song, Breathless because it's stuck in my head and it will not go away. The lyrics are so emotional really.

I was watching the magic channel on TV as well and there was a song that made me cry (Yes I am a bit emotional tonight). There is Jania's wedding coming up in April and another wedding coming up in December (am I allowed to discuss this yet? Please let me know. You know who you are). I play big parts in both wedding and I suppose I have been planning speeches and poetry and listening to music for inspiration.

Ok sorry, i went off on a tangent there. Was I telling you about a song that made me cry? It was Luther Vandross - Dance with my father again. OK I don't know if that's the title of the song but my goodness, the lyrics....

Can I ask a random question at this point? OK I dont mind relating this to myself. When I was a child, my father could do no wrong. Everything he did was right and perfect. When I grew up and realised that he was human and subject to frailties like everyone else, I was devastated. What is your relationship with your father like? I have to write something about this. Watch out for it tomorrow or the day after, I promise.

So back to weddings, trying to think of the perfect thing to do for these two weddings. At Malaika and Simbarashe's wedding, I did a literary piece. Basically I read this piece out and was out of sight at the time. It was read to the beginning of KC and Jojo's 'all my life'. OK so I read it and I might have been a bit emotional at the time... when I was done and surfaced, I realised that I had half the guests in tears. OK that was weird. It was flattering but overwhelming. People were blubbering over this piece (including my dad which definitely made me choke because it was the first time I saw him cry. He asked me later why I was surprised and seemed a bit irritated by the fact that apparently I thought he was made of stone. LOL!). I then went on to introduce their first dance and I cried in the corner as well. I recreated the concept at Amaka and Peter's wedding. I enjoyed that too.

Anyway, do you want to see what it is I wrote for Malaika and Simba? I'll post it next.

i love you... only you?

I love you….only you?

Ok this is what happens when I go out, drink two double espresso’s and then Yvonne comes over and asks the question: ‘can you go through life loving just the one person?’ (and there wasn’t a drop of alcohol in sight, I promise). Its quarter past 3am (yes Donell Jones springs to mind too) and I have decided to play devils advocate sitting in front of mums laptop. Here goes…

One of my favourite quotes of all things love is by Aristotle. He said, ‘love is a single soul inhabiting two bodies’. Isn’t that the most beautiful thing you have ever heard? Well, devil’s advocate says not really. This thought torments my psyche constantly. I’ll tell you why. The simplest theory put out there is this: ‘man meets woman, they fall in love and spend forever in love with each other’, right? Well, I don’t know about that! How often does that happen? Often enough… and if for some reason we could get an x-ray type insight into the minds of some of these lucky people, what will we find? Well, let me introduce you to an unspoken truth about the monogamous mind.

Let’s analyse the specifics. Is it possible that you love one person and only that person forever? Well I don’t mean to rubbish the idea of perfect love but it seems that although ideally this is the way it happens, while our outer beings are busy loving each other like the good uncomplicated people we are, our minds have other ideas really. No? Well when you were on the train the other day totally drooling over that person you thought was most delicious creation since sliced bread, were you thinking about the love of your life then? A bit of eye candy never hurt anyone is what you say. What do I say? I say read on.

Let’s break it down even further with some questions. Have you ever looked at someone (ok for the sake of argument and less hullabaloo, let’s say in the past, before you met the love of your life) and just felt either 1. the unendurable desire to rip your clothes and then theirs off? 2. spoken to them for five minutes and had your heart swear that you have known them at least all your life? or 3. realised that you were looking at each other and your minds were having a conversation that if explored had the potential to explode? What happened when it was the time when it was a combination of all three and someone out there at the time was called your other half? Let’s assume you moved on from the insane momentary intensity you felt and stayed put with the rightful owner of your heart, are these thoughts banished from your mind forever (if the answer to this is yes, how then do you remember the specifics of the incident so vividly?) or do you at some vulnerable moment think ‘should’a, could’a, would’a’? Once committed to a significant other, is the human mind programmed never to find any other person appealing?

And there’s more! In friendships, for example, there are bonds formed between different sets of people for different reasons and each one on one friendship is determined by a single or collection of ideas that sets that person apart from other people and endears you to them, hence the title ‘friend’ as opposed to ‘acquaintance’. (One has many friends, right?) Is that the same for love? Is there not that person(s) who will pop into your head from time to time and betray the sense of every thing that is just and simple and straight forward and moral within you by making you smile? So there’s that person that knows you so well that they predict your cold before your first sneeze, the other that makes you feel naked by the way they look at you, or that person that sees your soul, that person who you can speak to on the mobile phone until your initially full battery dies and swear it was only five minutes. So these people are your friends (except they are the opposite sex and there is a slight ‘inconsequential’ twist), but are they not people you love? No? At this point, I am tempted to, but refuse to bore you with endless definitions of love (well I have to save some of devil advocate’s ramblings for another day), but I will say this: if the thought of someone softens your heart even ever so slightly, is there not (a tiny little bit of) love?

Don’t get me wrong. I am not referring to the ‘the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence’ theory. This person may not even pose a threat to your love life or surface in your thoughts everyday or want a relationship with you. This person might just serve to tickle your mind every now and again, gently persuading your thoughts to wonder, sometimes not for long and not necessarily in an unhealthy way. They just might be someone you happen to simply like (love can be a frightening word sometimes) for whatever reason.

Ok so they are relegated to the background in the ordinary course of your everyday life because of the choices you made or life threw at you but when you do think about them and smile or get really angry (because they broke your heart or something), do these random thoughts not equate to some sort of emotion? Love? So for you sitting and planning the perfect ridicule to this article because you love the one person only forever and ever and Romeo and Juliet have got nothing on you, have you never interacted with anyone else ever? It’s just a thought – maybe you never had a past or a vulnerable moment or an incident, maybe you met your soul mate and never wondered if someone thought your bum looked taut in those skinny jeans last Tuesday… maybe. Or maybe…..

So here’s the question again- do you love only one person? Be honest (or not)!

so far...

so far i have two followers. thats pretty exciting considering it hasnt even been 6 hours yet. I thought i would lighten this blog up with some random thought (apparently sometimes i am a bit too intense) ....

ok so i am not really into a lot of current music these days, but i love chris brown for some reason. who loves him? anyways, i was hanging out with ty and tuns the other day and they played shane wards 'breathless' twice. i didnt think too much of it at first but on listening to it again, i really liked it. the lyrics are intense... absolutely.

so on that note, is it too soon to post you guys something heavy? so i put this next article up on facebook the other day and boy, did it attract comments... i wish i could upload the comments but i suppose there might be laws against that kind of stuff. but give me a few minutes and i will find it and upload it. look out for it.... x